Something Stupid...by far

A quarrel took place by mistake, an unfortunate event indeed. Somehow I feel it was my fault. It happened between my friend & an acquaintance. I instinctively sided the acquaintance and now I don't know where I stand in my friendship with the other. Dolefully, I don't know how to make things right between them. Between us. I can bearly wrap my head around what actually happened that day.

I think it was I that damaged both parties. If I could have just kept my mouth shut, at least for a few more days, it wouldn't have been blown out of proportions like it already has. If I had a better memory, if I predicted their reactions, if I didn't eat out that day, this wouldn't have happened. And it also wouldn't have happened if I wasn't trying to be a good friend, a hero. The same rules apply, either solve the problem and get more love or screw the deal and become the scapegoat.


Human relations hurt. No shit. It hurts because humans as the subject of a situation is hard to put. We are mostly predictable but personality makes us unpredictable at the same time. The differing levels of our 5 basic needs [survival, power, freedom, love & belonging, fun & learning] gives us our diverse list of total behaviours. If I only assessed their basic needs earlier, I could've familiarized their personalities and by doing so, I could've predicted their reactions. It would be quite natural of me to doubt my acquaintance but then again I guess I never really knew my friend as well.

Now I remember. My excuse for social withdrawal last year was "I am not a good friend, so I should avoid them to save them from myself". Partly true, I guess.

One thing is for sure, wherever you are and whatever you are doing in life, don't think you own your loved ones. Once you do you'd feel obligated to make them change into what you think is right, the way you want them to. You can only tell, but never force. If you love them enough and you care to show them that you do, they will eventually change if they feel your love and that the change is beneficial to the relationship. But if they don't then you should only change what lies within. Either change what you want, or what you're doing, or both. If you do nothing you'll suffer and forcing them would be disastrous.

I said once before that there are right ways of being selfish. We can't afford being selfish materialistically in a society but we can be selfish for ourselves. Love someone for what they are and if you're not content with something, change yourselves. Let you be the one to improve. Let you be the peacemaker.

Human relation is an art and it is the oldest & hardest to master. That is why we are happiest with our soulmates because they are like twins to our own personalities and we don't have to try hard to relate to them. They are easy to be with. This, to me, is a form of selfishness which is everything that I am.

It has been an emotionally reviving episode for me. I still don't know what I'm going do with that quarrel which might have been accidentally, inadvertently caused by me. I'd like to hope for the best but seeing how our 'discussion' ended that day, I better prepare for the worst.

Wishing me luck won't do good. Please pray for us instead. Thanks a mill.

Later days...