I am, in a way distraught by a very familiar human weakness, nothing lasts. Everlasting is humanely impossible. I don't mind dying, I don't mind the ever revolutionizing human psychology, I don't even mind friends coming and going. It has been a year on 26th April, since I started blogging here. On that day, I took a while off studying to revisit some of my old scribblings. It occurred to me that I'm losing my touch. I felt like that girl in 'The Devil Wears Prada' or that guy in 'How To Lose Friends and Alienate People'. I guess everything in life really does have their own personal list of pros & cons, that includes happiness. As much as I believe 2008/2009 was one of the best years in my development of psychological maturity, I'm no longer exhilarated by being constantly happy. I had a taste, now stop bugging me and let me do my duty.
Happiness, if not well-balanced can prove deadly. The line between sufficiency & redundancy is a mighty fine one. Unless you're right on the border, you're at risk of 'blindness'. I find myself writing better when I am under certain depression. Or it might just be tonight. Too many things are going on in my mind, traffic is congested. And I'm starting to hate Saturdays. I get headaches on Saturdays and I am officially blank right now. I just spent a minute trying to spell Saturday.
While eating dinner tonight, I remember how I used to hate myself when I'm at school, I was too quiet, to emo, too shy. I loved being around my family instead since I could be more of myself. How the tables have turned. Not that I'd prefer friends over family but I can't be comfortable enough anymore. I think clearer and appear more matured around friends. Is this part of growing up? ..................too tired to think about this tonight.
See how the problems just never stops? Peace never lasts, it'd be too absurd and illogical, the world would fold over. Disclaimer: BUT it doesn't mean we should stop believing in it, we have try to reach it instead of doing nothing. Something is always better than nothing. So a C is always better than failing even if it's not an A. Give your kid a break.
Anyway, I've written 3 songs [Dear Life, Hometown City, Save Us] within a month's time. I have never been so inspired. I hope it lasts...yeah right. They're all in my site, http://www.myspace.com/eddfalcomusic. Please visit when you have the time. They're not metal, they're not love songs, don't worry.
May this questionable feeling of human imperfection not reign over my consciousness and suffocate my mist of creativity. Later days...
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