Exams?! PishPosh!

I hate exams, but don't we all? Though I hate it because it brings down the atmosphere, I don't mind these regular assessments time to time. The right way to get through it is to always be prepared. I had a 1 1/2 month relapse of 'party on' nights instead of reading so it proved the present burden. I sound like a damn nerd for someone who hates this crap so much it nearly destroyed me.

My current mood? Like any other day. I've read what I can with the time I had. Not with all my might though. I hate pushing myself because I don't want to get hurt when I hope too much. But that doesn't mean I'm not pushy. If I want something, I will get it, I already proved myself on that fact in matriculation. I just don't think a lot of A's here prove anything more than being able to memorize a lot of things in a small period of time just until you get through the paper. Well, it doesn't necessarily mean that if you used the method in the first paragraph but most students here prefer the "Yikes-exam's-in-2weeks-I-better-get-busy-from-now-on" one. Me included. Because we all just wanna pass, A's are for pricks. Ehehehe...

Aaaahh...12 hour away until the 1st paper.

4 days

9am to 12pm

air conditioned room

What am I gonna wear?!

See you in 4 days...

A Day Full of Surprises!

I don't know if I should laugh or sob or drop-kick a stranger and continue beating him until he begs me to stop. Yes, today made me say a lot of those bad words, the "what the....?!" kinds and also me having angry dialogues with myself. "Why on earth?" I hear you not say out loud. Let's get started!

1. The Mal-informed Quiz

What the frig man, nobody friggin told me it was re-scheduled today. My jaw dropped and my heart sunk as soon as I entered the classroom this morning and saw the Doc telling everyone to take out a piece of paper. Apparently I was the only one who remained clueless throughout the whole one-hour session. Damn these kids. Thankfully, I sat between 2 helpful ones. By helpful I mean, copy-all-you-want helpful. But still, damn these kids!

2. The Patient's Folder - Which Should Never Be Kept In Our Lockers But We Do It Anyways - Got Hijacked by The Docs!

Awwwww...you smart ass bunch you. This was totally uncalled for! Just let me elaborate their scheme, simply use the spare keys to open our lockers and confiscate what wasn't ours [the folders: legal documentations of the patients that should be taken more seriously] Last time they did this, they warned us of the 'spot-check'. But this time they just ambushed without giving a chance to pull out our guns. Many students keep bragging about how it wasn't fair but I think they are well off, in a way. Fortunately I only kept one folder in my locker that day, unlike those who I've heard lost 20 folders to the Docs. The only thing was, I needed that folder today since I had already set an appointment with that patient. But that's for the next surprise.

3. The Treatment

Good golly me beans! I was ever so ready to defend myself if somehow I got told off by today's scheduled supervising Doc. Let's call her the Witch.

The Witch bears some close resemblance to this British actress, Kristin Scott Thomas.

According to history, nobody is spared in her eyes. Well, I just lost the folder of my shared patient for today [I was sharing the patient with my partner]. How fcuked do you think I felt? Pretty well-fcukd. I couldn't even hide behind my partner since it was my fault the folder went MIA. Surprisingly, everything I imagined could have gone wrong, didn't! A few harsh words here and there but nothing I couldn't handle.
Although, she kinda offended our patient and I just wanna betch-slap her...I mean drop-kick her for that. Poor sweet old lady...I mean my patient.

4. The New Shower Scrub

I was pretty excited to use my new bottle of Ginvera's Spa Shower Scrub. I even made sure I was all worn out in sweat for the day before using it. Just so I'd feel deserving to dwell in it's comfort after the shower. But what horror I find myself facing as I pressed for my first serving of aromatic cleansing liquid? The damn bottle was jammed! The ever so tiny scrubby beads got caught up in the nozzle and I couldn't unclog it. Aaarrgghh! What a way to ruin an awesome mood I had going...


5. The Ease

After all that has happened today, I'm quite surprised to find myself still at ease and quirky. Though my studying mood is a tad bit tarnished, but that's because I only slept for 4 hours last night and somehow forgot to nap this afternoon. So there, tired but still at ease. If I could remember my last year's self correctly, right now I'd still be trash talking about the witch, punching the wall with my bare knuckles, writing emo shyte in Brook, and probably decide to skip the rest of the week. But despite being a little...being way behind my studying schedule, and still have to study for tomorrow's quiz, I'm OKAY!

Well then...off to the books.

Later days...

The Man-ly Presence

I know it's kinda too early for a new entry since I should be shoving my face into a book somewhere [exams in 2 weeks...unlike most others], but I just have to get something off my chest.

I had a hard time sleeping last night, not because I just read tonnes of ghost stories prior hitting the covers, and not because I was contemplating whether I should call off the morning's patient or not, but because I already slept off-the-charts hours for that day. So, what to do? The usual, I dialogue with myself [I can do this since my roomie's sleeping over at her friend's]. But not "with myself" with myself like in the previous post below. Bedtime dialogues are with rock idols in my head. After a while I did fall to sleep.

At around 0630 I woke up to my two alarm clocks [yes, I need 2 to wake up], I think I was awake but now I'm not too sure because I felt a presence telling me to go back to bed. It was a man. I didn't see or hear anything but I get this feeling, a strong one and I can't explain it any more than that. Later I woke up at 0830, already missing my morning class. That was the first thing that hit me, then a minute later I felt a very agonizing pain in the abdomen. That female pain, sharp, shooting, gut-twisting pain.

Now, let me just sum up the total emotional situation here:
frustration of missing class + agonizing menses pain + acute "I can't do this anymore" attack
So I just went back to bed to simply flush them away.

Later, I dreamt a very vivid dream. It was ridiculous but very real and I felt the same manly presence in my dream. It'll be too long to explain it in detail so I'll just give the important details. The man had a friendly presence, like someone I'd trust with my life. And it proved to be so. I was being hunted by a being [a cross between the grim reaper and dementors]. This creature can only be seen by those who has witnessed it 'killing' someone else before. They stalk those who have witnessed and later killed them, making it look like a suicide.

I can't remember any details of me witnessing it kill before but it already tried to kill me twice before so it was hot on my trail and by then I looked like a suicidal maniac. I don't know how I escaped before. Then I realized that the manly presence I felt earlier clearly had a husband type of role. It felt like he wanted to believe me but can't seem to grab it [mcm dlm 'Devil's Advocate']. BUT as the creature came to kill me for the 3rd time [drowning me], that husband figure saw it and saved me. See how ridiculously movie-like this is. So now he believes me and we're both being hunted so we flee into the night.

The dream didn't have an ending. If it did, I can't remember any but I do remember waking up feeling very sad. I looked at the clock, it was 0900. Surprising, all that in 30 minutes and I didn't even get into the details. I can't connect the dots here and I'm not sure if there are dots to connect or if I should connect them. But this is one of those dreams that makes you want to remember because it had a special feeling or impact with it. Obviously I was in a weak state of mind so I was vulnerable to 'you-know-what' at that time. But it gave me an idea for a new script! Oh and I can't feel his presence anymore. Kinda spooky thinking about it.

Later days...or nights.

New POST!

For today, I made a mistake of waking up to FND Films [A Youtube channel by Aaron Fronk & Vinny Dego]. It made me feel like being angry and high all day. Banzai & The Dude...what a mix. My roomie is lucky for not being here since Thursday's pm. Oh, did I mention?! I had a college sleepover for this weekend. And probably for the next...and the other...until exam week's up and done!

It's been a lockdown! All the 5 of me came out but only Banzai and The Dude hosted, the rest just hung around pretending to exist.

0900
Edd: Nice, Pushing Daisies S02E05 is done! Caching! Breakfast time...
[watches Pushing Daisies and continues with FND Films]

1200
Banzai: Edd, you moron! You still have your friggin DPH assignment to do!
Dude: Oh man, I thought I was gonna lay today mann...like lay on the floor here.
[lays on the floor]
Dude: oh yeah, this coldness is so cool
Banzai: And I know you don't want to present tomorrow's prostho crap. I'm not doin it.
Dude: That prostho crap is sick mann. It's like when you're trying to put on your socks in the morning and you can't look down coz you had a mega-headbanging session last night..[reminisces last night]..so you have to raise that foot and stand on one leg doing it but then it cramps your ass and you accidentally kicked the chair with the other foot and then you fall down. And when you got both socks on you realized it's a Saturday. That is just fcuked up mann.
Banzai: Fcuked up like you.
Dude: Like you too mann. you're like the master of fcukg yourself and everyone up
Banzai: I'm not fu...
Dude: hellyeah you are!!
Banzai: Dude I'm not the one who breathes in crack like everyone breathe in oxygen... 24/7..that's super-fcuked up
Dude: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Banzai: Yeah you do, you even do it in your sleep
Dude: Nooooooo i don't mann..i take my beauty sleep seriously. i sleep like 10 hours a day
Banzai: Yeah, for 2 days straight
Dude: Nooo....what?
Banzai: you said you sleep 10 hours a day right?
Dude: yeah
Banzai: well you do it for 2 days straight
Dude: .......what?
Banzai: Like, you sleep 10 on Friday and 10 on Saturday, continuously
Dude: .......wait...what day is it?
Banzai: ...what? are you fcukg kidding me?! are you high? what am i sayin, of course you're high...nevermind.
[a moment of silence while Banzai gets pissed off and Dude tries to focus]
Banzai: Look, i think Edd's friggin losing it, look at what she's doin'. dude, look, dude..
Dude: What?
[both looks at Edd and what she's doing]
Edd: ............What the fcuk are you looking at?!
Dude: Hahahahaha...what are you doing dude...hahhaha!
Banzai: now that's super fcuk up
[both laughs hysterically]
Edd: shut up...[stopped, went to laptop, continued friggin assignment]
Banzai: [whispers to Dude] hey lets choke her with a plastic bag

1500
Edd: .........................................................................

Dude: later be the days dudessssssssssssshakalaka BOOOM!

Quest for personalities....

Other than being a Youtube freak, I'm also addicted to analyzing characters or personalities in people. Movies are awesome for this. Some are good ones, others just don't fit. Though I have my own personalities that I have developed along the years of living on in this society. The personalities that lies within. Some has extinct, others continue to be part of me. I'll go in sequence of who came to be first.

1. BANZAI [1999-present]
- initially created for a friend's comic piece
- inspired by Dragon Ball Z's Videl, daughter of Mr.Satan
- she is when I'm angered and full of destructive hatred
- I used to draw sketches of her all the time back then but I can't find any now
- she's a rebel without a cause, bullies weak people, but she's a fighter
- music: hardcore, grindcore metal, black metal
- colour: black, red


2. LILY [2000-2005]
- inspired by the character Elle Woods from Legally Blond but Lily's much more sensible
- I don't have a specific image of her since she was only created in my head
- she used to come out at night during my pre-bedtime-gossiping sessions with my younger sis
- she's extinct since I no longer have these sessions anymore
- she's wacky, girly, clumsy, clueless, and sometimes easily heart broken or emotionally weak
- constantly victimized by Banzai's verbal abuse but at times they're best friends
- music: Enya, Sigur Ros, Arcade Fire, Pomplamoose, Feist, My Brightest Diamond
- colour: peach

3. EDWINA [2002-hiatus]
- I personally named this character because I find her as my neutral between the 2 above
- I basically picture her as myself in office clothing: long sleeved shirts and black slacks
- she is when I'm handed tasks or assignments, the responsible me. So obviously she's been on a long break since 2006, but comes and goes once in a while. She knows when I need her
- she's friendly, very matured, open minded, solves quarrels like a pro (especially between the 2 above), strong willed, confident, she gets bad moods but she won't go wild like Banzai
- music: hans zimmer movie scores, Maksim, Strings Quartet, Sarah Brightman
- colour: silver and purple

4. THE DUDE [2007-present]
- inspired by my desires of wanting to get a 'high'
- if you've seen Pineapple Express, 'it's' like Saul Silver. I use 'it' because The Dude is an idea of a person and has no distinctive gender stuck to it but generally always 'high'
- when I am The Dude, you'll see me laughing senselessly, being silly, singing and dancing, can't focus more than a minute or at all
- it usually consumes me when I'm in no mood to do anything at all, usually when I'm highly stressed out
- music: doom metal, stoner metal - Mastodon, High on Fire, Celtic Frost
- orange


5. EVE [2008-present]
- inspired by my latest rock hero, Myles Kennedy, who is truly inspirational
- I have no specific image for it since she's basically me or what I'm trying to become now
- she is when I'm in my rock mood, calm, and very open
- she's open minded, terribly friendly, values her past experiences as a deserving lesson in life, always trying to find new things to experience or listen, awfully humble, treasures loved ones and friends
- music: Iron Maiden, Helloween, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Alter Bridge, Oasis, Travis, Muse, Radiohead, HURT, Sevendust
- colour: evergreen

6. AXEL ROZZ [2008-present]
- inspired by the character Neo from Matrix but unlike Neo, she's an anti-hero
- just picture me in Neo's outfit...without the shades
- she is when I'm being 'poyo' and selfish but poised at the same time
- she's very disciplined, a perfectionist, thinks for herself, never a leader but a right hand person. For more info, read my previous post 'Villainous I Am' from May. The more I think about it, maybe this is an older version of Banzai...hmph..
- music: death metal - Soilwork, Arch Enemy, In Flames, Carcass, Scar Symmetry
- colour: black

I am never just ONE. Much of the time it's 2 in 1. When I'm in solitary confinement sometimes they all keep me company. Making a decision would also require all their consent. Self-dialogue is fun no matter what others think. So you see, what I'm trying to point out here is that we all have our 'extremes', but I exaggerate to the point of naming each one and even giving them backgrounds. It's not a disorder, it's not multiple personality, it's a hobby.

So believe me when I say that my life is a movie.

That's pretty much it for now. We're all pretty beat from all the headbanging while trying to complete this post. Banzai and Axel are currently in a duo mosh pit right now...

Later days...