euphoric_nightmare

Quitting

2011-09-29T02:06:00.002+08:00

The time has come for me to leave the pizza place. 7 months. More than half a year and I am left battered. It is cruel what humanity demands of us. It is cruel how the community demands their rights in needs. It is too cruel when customers make a scene after waiting too long for their orders while we in the kitchen are going as fast as we can to fulfill their never ending lists of needs and

The Chemistry

2011-05-03T05:11:00.000+08:00

Salam, I wish I had other things to put into words other than my days as a pizza maker/cashier at BBB's Domino's Pizza but I spend half my days there where the other half is spent sleeping at home. I must admit, my patience is running thin. I'm getting bored of repeating the same sentences over and over again. See, I can't be in a field of a mundane and repetitive nature. I need projects that

Mr.Muslim and Mr.Tanvee

2011-04-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

Mr.Muslim He came alone on a Sunday afternoon when the store was empty. He was tall and well [very well] built in the torso, very fair and looks Chinese. I thought he was Chinese until I heard his name [At Dom's we are required to acquire the customer's phone number and name for record]. He looked especially...gentle in his soft lavender tee and cream khaki shorts [below knee]. His voice was

At Dom's: A Month Later

2011-04-11T10:13:00.001+08:00

I survived! While 2 other boys have trained and left, I am still here. I think it's mainly because I've been stationed at the front as the cashier. I am learning to make pizzas and have made a few orders but often sent out of the kitchen and towards the front to handle the customers during rush hours such as lunch/dinner time and throughout the weekends. I don't really mind because in a way, they

Domino's

2011-03-15T00:17:00.002+08:00

Today was the first day! I'm still in training though but I've seen everything. I mean EVERYTHING! and that is all that's going to be said. I applied for the pizza maker position, thinking they'd put me safely behind enemy's line and far away from the social scene. But NO! Not yet at least...I hope. Everybody has to experience everything so today, I was mainly the greeter who's also the one

Self Analysis part III...I think

2011-02-25T15:59:00.000+08:00

Haaaa...where am I? Everytime I write a self analysis on this blog it's usually after the recovery of a big fall. It's quite pathetic because for the previous two posts [2 years ago??] it's like I've achieved a major breakthrough and although I did mention a prediction of another fallout [which did happen], I thought I was capable of handling it. Well I don't know what to make of the outcome

:(

2011-02-11T07:36:00.000+08:00

The 2nd worst feeling in the world is losing control over yourself. The 1st is seeing how it affects your loved ones. Edd, of all the things you always forget; never this. REMEMBER THIS!

Nil

2011-02-10T05:27:00.001+08:00

He watches and He hears He knows all my tears... I am at a crossroad and there are no road signs. I can tell north from east but I don't know what's beyond this junction. Maybe another crossroad, a free gun, or even a snake pit, I don't know. Life is a test and right know it's in the form of an MCQ (multiple choice question). Actually I don't know if it's in any other form. Essays? I guess. I

of Gary Oldman and face shredding...

2011-01-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

I couldn't quite make sure if it was the moon or the sun peeping through the faint clouds. It was either sunset or dawn; the best things in life always do come in little packages. These lights are the shortest of any other kind. I arrived alone to the convention but I had too many luggage to be carried by one, although this goes by unnoticed. It was held at my old school's building. But it was no

Emo Edd and her Hate Paint

2011-01-22T06:37:00.000+08:00

Today my clinic partner Ann asked me to make a list my weaknesses. I know, pretty frontal. But she was trying to make conversation with me so that I won't doze off like last time. It was a boring clinic. Digging for calculus is a boring job. And assisting a calculus digger is ten times the bore. I only gave off a few. It's like being asked what your favourite song or movies are. You know them at

today

2010-12-28T07:42:00.003+08:00

today, i shall deprive myself of the following: food beverage sleep human contact light large scale motion

Here It Goes Again

2010-12-08T05:13:00.001+08:00

This is it. I don't think I should go on. It's fate that these dates were to intercept each other. And I was to choose one that was of more superiority to me. I spent 5 years here. 5 years. Academically I'm practically nowhere. But I know I've gained a few pounds of knowledge and skills. Leveled up a few steps higher. Acquired tremendous amount of friends, or at least connections. But I must

Gigi Alia

2010-11-27T21:07:00.002+08:00

first short movie... don't get the joke? don't bother.. the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeiKyKdNJxM

Jolt

2010-11-26T06:35:00.000+08:00

I suddenly felt the need to write this down. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of needing to wake up. Is it a coincidence that I am now 'locking' myself up in my room, my bunker to complete my video project? - An assignment related to a passion of mine. And that at the same time watched Inception for the 1st time? A movie I have so long tried to avoid knowing it will haunt me for days. I am

The Abusive Husband

2010-09-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

When did life become so fucking complicated? Maybe it's always been complicated but we were brought up thinking - "It's all gonna be okay, just look on the final pages for answers" - so that when we actually faced complexities, we freak out and need a diaper change. Why didn't I see it coming? "Edd, you're gonna be a loser, watch out." okay, maybe I should be a doctor, that'll get me out of the

post 100#

2010-07-06T01:08:00.000+08:00

It's 6th July its my mom and nephew's birthday today...Funny thing was, I forgot until it was Maghrib as I sat down in front of my facebook account. By then my mom's page was already full of birthday wishes by everyone! except me. So I eagerly waited for her to finish her prayers n went to hug her at the same time wishing her. Hopefully that would do today. I don't know what to give her. I should

The Third

2010-07-01T18:43:00.002+08:00

The charm, they say. But miss then strike out, they say. I say I don't believe in any of that. I say luck is an illusion of a blinded optimist and fate is the script of a realist. Opportunists are scavengers of this virtual world and I am somewhat a series of empty canvases. It's hard to believe anything you read or hear or watch today. As long as you are breathing you are vulnerable to lies.

Leaving Shadows Behind

2010-06-29T03:53:00.006+08:00

I guess that is whats really been the main theme of my soul searching process. How I am gonna make a mark on this earth before my time comes, a mark more significant than a tombstone above my rotting flesh [InsyAllah, as a proper burial would be good enough]. Lightyears [14/06/10] I realise I never really think of the present as for what they are. I know I should and I often say to others

Picnic Day

2010-06-05T12:23:00.001+08:00

On 19-20/02/10, the family's Geng anak dara [1st & 2nd Class] and the boys went shopping, maggi chomping, sushi rolling, pancake frying, picnic eating, playing2, swimming2 at Bukit Jalil.

Sepak Terajang Sama Mereka

2010-05-24T17:15:00.002+08:00

First Malay title.But yes, the rest will be in English...kot...ok notImprovised and exaggerated version of today's discussion:Parents: You're too rigid. You have to be more flexible and humane.Me: Yelah yelah...I know. And I know my ego is up here [hand above head].Parents: Ye ke?Me: Yelah yelah...nun di sana [points towards the sky] celestial egoism. Astronomically speaking.So marilah sama2

I Hear Crickets...

2010-04-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

It's bugging me, grating me, and twisting me around!Yeah I'm endlessly, caving in, and turning inside out![guess where that's from]I'd like to dedicate that to the darling little crickets who with sheer joy play their tune relentlessly through the night. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, SMACK!! Flame! Sweep! Shoo.Now, one problem solved, a million to go [grr..]How will I ever get enough sleep?

Myselves - Hotness

2010-04-21T16:51:00.004+08:00

Filmed 2 months ago...thought it was too ugly so left it aside and forgotten.Got tired cleaning the house and thought,"I'm tired cleaning the house, I think I'll edit some vids!"here's the first one: Myselves - Playing Questions

"vad som än händer...hat kvar"

2010-04-16T00:44:00.005+08:00

reclaim my faith ...omvärderatidy up the house...rengöra study films...observera find plots, follow through until the end...skriva filmmanu Youtube...video att göra"vad som än händer...hat kvar"credits to Google Translate for all these translations I wish I can fluently speak someday...someday..over the rainbow, my pot of GOLD!

...of bruises, Ed Gein, and the word 'Loquacious'...

2010-04-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

these items have been occupying my vault recently...Bruises...I realize that I 'knock about' a lot. 'Knock about' as in my limbs flail around too much and I would usually undeliberately, inadvertently bang them unto an inanimate object. Sometimes as I walk by a route I've been through too often, I guess I let my guard down and 'pretend' to be an expert and of course fail later as I misjudge how

No Place for the Mundane

2010-03-18T20:17:00.001+08:00

Damn you, cruel world...[I'm regarding its inhabitants of course]I don't think I can be best at anything. I'm way too destructive to be achieving something. The only wish I'm hoping will come true now is to be able to make my own movies in my distant future.Movies that would inspire a nation to take their ground. Movies that would relate to what Islam has taught us and give it new life. Movies

Scarce

2010-03-07T00:08:00.005+08:00

I am but a passenger in this world...[Taken on January 2010]I don't know what to write about anymore. I started this blog in full inspiration of conveying my thoughts, record my feelings because I know I'll forget them. I hardly feel like writing nowadays. I feel like I'm pulling myself into a shell. Self-captivity.Since I was in my formative years I've always liked the idea of being secretive

Fluff

2010-01-28T23:44:00.003+08:00

I've been really interested in the clouds up in the sky lately. I guess God is trying to remind me about the bigger picture. I started admiring the fluffy wisps up about a few months ago. Majestic when the sun crowns it and powerful during their darker moods. Everytime I suffer inside, which is nearly everyday, all I need to do is look up and behold the glowing blankets above.Clouds in a way are

The Invisibility Cloak

2010-01-07T00:23:00.006+08:00

I've been wishing I had one for years long. To not be seen or judged. I belong only to Him. Let Him fix me because I'm tired of fighting this way. Against my will. I just don't want to exist in this world but He would still exist in mine. He is my government. This is for reassurance.Nowadays privacy is my priority. It's my bubble. I hardly let anybody in. Let them save themselves from this

Don't

2009-12-13T22:55:00.005+08:00

I HateI can't describe how much hate I have inside right now. I've grown aware of this state in me since 3 years ago. Some days I can set it aside and forgive everything. Some other days I just feel like killing everyone. An uncontrollable rage that I contain inside, cursing everthing from its existance. I know I won't kill, I know it's wrong, but I think some people just deserve to die. Erased

I Killed A Giant !!

2009-11-10T20:03:00.005+08:00

eHattattaa...Oh what have become of the olden days...me being a selfish, ignorant twerp and the world summoning all the chaos that it could possibly conjure out of it's very limited vault of human ability(s). Well nothing really, those are still the days we're living in. Sometimes it feels useless after countless of hours sticking my head into these 'save the world' movements because directly

I Love Long Hair

2009-11-06T12:10:00.001+08:00

1. I love how it gets into my mouth while I'm chewing my food, teasing me by acting all fibrous.2. I love how it prevents me from reading a book by irritating my eyes.3. I love how it makes me look hot by insulating all the heat from my head & neck.4. I love how it generously consume an overwhelming amount of effort & time to dry.5. I love how it surprises me every morning in the toilet.6. I love

Post-RAYA Syndrome

2009-09-27T12:26:00.009+08:00

Muahahahaha!! Selamat Hari Raya to all potential readers.A little correction regarding the last post...apparently my batch won't be undergoing the continuous clinical weeks, only the 5th years are the unfortunate victims. Us 4th years are only subject to having 2 weeks of holiday extracted from our calender. DAMNATION!!ONLY 1 WEEK OF SEMESTER BREAK??!! AND WHAT??!! NO MIDSEM BREAK FOR THE 2ND SEM

1st of The Worsts

2009-09-12T11:54:00.002+08:00

For once I'll be writing of what is to come and not what had already came and been done with. This coming week, the week before Raya will be pretty much horrifying. For the next 5 days, with tests nearly every single day, clinics everyday, a project proposal to present, and requirements to pass up by the end of the week, my prediction is that I'll be dead before Raya.But that's only the appetizer

Out With It

2009-08-13T22:01:00.003+08:00

Okay, I'll no longer deny and avoid the factual statement that I'm a dental student.So here's the latest interesting thing.Today my group had a short field trip to Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia, Putrajaya. We went to the Dentistry sector of course, sat for an hour's talk on Oral Health Promotion, toured the offices, had free 'oily & caffeinated' lunch, and patiently waited for the bus. I didn't

ShreDDer

2009-07-30T22:27:00.004+08:00

No, I'm not talking about the age old villain of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I'm talking about getting ripped. If you know me [like really really know me] you'd know I am obsessed with wanting a six pack abs. If at all possible, a whole ripped bod. Not of the bodybuilder kind, just as much as Jillian Michael's.I know what most people say, "ppuan x lawa la bdn besar, gagah perkasa!". SO WHAT

H1N1

2009-07-27T17:06:00.003+08:00

Alas, the flu mania has finally affected UKMKKL and we are now not allowed to go to class until 2nd August. Oh shucks! There's no confirmed cases yet, everything is still under suspicion but for the greater good and the safety of the nation, SHUTDOWN! was announced. There were 50 suspected cases.Honestly, I've been feeling very vulnerable to the flu for a while since I'm commuting across Bangi to

Heart

2009-07-17T00:31:00.003+08:00

Heart of mind and heart of soulI'll search for you till time grows oldI tripped and fall and lost my wayPut on a mask just like they sayTricks and treats have fooled my weakUntil my truth began to leakA heart can't beat outside it's placeA soul can't soar without it's graceWhat is the meaning of life?Without a heart there will be none

The Aching Need II

2009-07-05T15:35:00.003+08:00

I need a new laptop.sh@dowfaX is a friggin retard and can no longer serve efficiently as my co-conspirator. I can't have this! I have a mission to fulfill and that mission is about to be jeopardized by a lack of speed & bytes. I hope I can strike a deal for a cheap one somewhere.I need a HD camcorder.since I'm getting more active in this video making activity, I might as well get my own equipment

Frock Bearer

2009-06-19T01:39:00.004+08:00

wow..that sounds and looks dirty. I dunno why, it just popped out of my head since I'm not gonna write on any particularly specific topic here.I think the theme of my holiday this year is creativity or specifically, Youtube videos. Last year's was self discovery, profound movement, made major changes in my attitude, fantasmic! So this year, I'm all about creating stuff. It's about time too, I'm

Losing it

2009-06-06T02:14:00.006+08:00

I'm losing excitement day by day. Waking up with nothing but an entangled mess of frustrating mist heaving my spirit out of life and submerged under a thick layer of grime. The only person that's keeping me going is my younger brother, since he's also in his holidays [school], I try to find day to day enjoyment by playing video games with him.Astro keeps showing reruns and I'm not just talking

Linger

2009-05-25T13:03:00.008+08:00

last view from my previous apartmentRandom Q's1. What is the most important thing in your life? my conscience 2. What is the last thing that you bought with your own money? other than food? A black shirt 3. Where do you wish to get married? Lothlorien, Middle-earth 4. How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love? oops, have none5. Are you in love? in a way, yes6. Where

eddsterfalconian

2009-05-22T03:26:00.004+08:00

Click here to go now...My Youtube account. Link is also on my LINK! tab on the right column >>>>As of yesterday, I've decided to actively edit & upload videos in Youtube. It will be my holiday's project for this year. I've already put up a few.So those of you who has Youtube accounts please go check it out & subscribe if you wish. No force there. Please rate & comment if it's not too much to

Mystifying Event

2009-05-19T17:17:00.006+08:00

Two nights ago, my family and I dropped by my apartment to clear up my belongings and take them home. I finished my 6th [8th actually] semester and had to move out. I went up with my 2 brothers to the 14th floor. Although I had already packed up before going home a few days before, we would still need to make a few trips up and down to get everything.On the first trip up, I already noticed

Little Did She Know...

2009-05-16T22:17:00.001+08:00

I am, in a way distraught by a very familiar human weakness, nothing lasts. Everlasting is humanely impossible. I don't mind dying, I don't mind the ever revolutionizing human psychology, I don't even mind friends coming and going. It has been a year on 26th April, since I started blogging here. On that day, I took a while off studying to revisit some of my old scribblings. It occurred to me that

Me & My Baldies

2009-05-14T02:52:00.007+08:00

It's been a while since my last 'list of's. Here's one that came to my mind, My List of Favourite Bald Men.When I say bald I don't necessarily mean hairless, I mean less hair as in close-shaven heads.Why baldies? Ask my subconscious. I guess they seem bold, like they're saying "I don't need a mane to be a man, I just am". My other theory is that they look emotionally vulnerable and I'm a sucker

Say It Like It Is, MothaLuver!

2009-05-07T19:59:00.009+08:00

Mother's Day is coming up and thanks to my being around people for a change it didn't escape me this time around, unlike other times. Frankly, I never really paid much attention to it [in those days] and no matter how much my mum kept saying that she doesn't feel appreciated during those days - because I pass the day like any other day - I just didn't feel the need. Yeah okay, you might think:

Just A Reminder Of Something Frequently Known

2009-04-26T18:21:00.004+08:00

I felt so emo for no reason today and decided I'd take the advantage of the situation instead of abusing my mind like I usually do. So I sat myself down with a pen in my hand and faced Brook open on my table.Warning: I didn't use any harsh words but they are harsh in a way.I call it...Over and OutIt's not the first time that I felt like killing before,Ripping the life out of that damn ugly whore,

Dear FaceBook People,

2009-04-19T02:13:00.002+08:00

Please read this for your own sake and for the rest of the Muslim community:http://lonkay.blogspot.com/2009/03/mark-zuckerberg-facebook-yahudi.htmlHow far the truth goes, I'm not that sure.

MySpace Music

2009-04-18T16:42:00.001+08:00

Hey Brook,I just opened up my own music page at MySpace. Just click the link "Edd's Music" in my link tab.Later days...

What The FLIP??!!

2009-04-15T21:28:00.002+08:00

Okay readers of euphoric_nightmare, today I am going to write to you about a true story based on a real-life event that just took place here, in my friggin Plaza Rah apartment, this morning.In as little number of words as possible, here I go:I came back early today, around 10.30am, because it was 'self-directed learning' which basically means, 'balik bilik tidur' for most people, whatever. I was

Feast Your Eyes

2009-04-13T13:56:00.004+08:00

Just follow the link to check out our Starlight coverClick this other link to see what music video fakey I got myself into now.Later days

Too High on Adrenaline

2009-04-11T18:55:00.005+08:00

And so it ends...The Dental Glam Night.How was it?- The best location EVER! Massive and the stage was great! Acoustics, nice.- The whole event, not bad but could have been better.- The emcees were, how do you say it? Bad? No fingers pointing, they just lack experience.- Only a few Chinese went along with the party theme [movie]. Most if not all of them girls were dressed like they were going

Starlight

2009-04-08T19:14:00.004+08:00

It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!2 days away from my first ever performance and I am shaking all over. Excited and nervous at the same time. Sure I'll be doing what I normally and casually do instead of studying, not to say I'm very good at guitar playing, but I hope it turns out well. I just want it to turn out fun and enjoyable.I can hardly study this week. I've been wire-bending [of the

CooL XP appS

2009-03-30T19:31:00.006+08:00

Since I've been busy messing around with sh@dowfaX for the past few days, I discovered some cool freeware stuff which I shall share below.FencesLike the name itself, it let's you group up icons, separating them into whatever categories you wish to between fences. Once you're done, double-click on the background and they disappear. To reappear, just double-click again.RocketdockIf you've heard of

A Fortnight of Agony

2009-03-26T19:58:00.009+08:00

Brook,First it was Vypress.After finally getting out to hunt for a new guitar, Vader, I got back to my apartment and found that meg@3on [my laptop] was whacked up. I couldn't enter Windows at all. So much for my advice to Enda [my aunt], "look for positive comments before downloading a torrent file". All this time I've been lucky in optimizing my absolute freedom until that virus finally pinned

HeartBroken & MindBoggled

2009-03-14T18:25:00.005+08:00

So sad, it's giving me backaches all over again.Vypress is no longer fixable. Seems that cracked acoustic guitars are just tossed away. Damn guitar salesperson! Don't you say that to my dear Vypress! I'm not gonna toss her away. I mean she can still function as a guitar pretty well, I just hate the fact that she's torn up inside and behind.It would be too irrational to store her away after I get

N is for...

2009-03-12T17:37:00.008+08:00

Just another game I picked up from a friend. Nobody tagged me but it looked interesting and thought I'd have a go.The Rules:It’s harder than it looks. Copy to your own note, erase my answer, enter yours and TAG 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to each answer of the following questions. They have to be real, nothing made up! If the person before you had the same initial, you must use

The Aching Need

2009-03-05T01:16:00.006+08:00

Damn you, Vypress!See the crack? This was last year, now it's worse.Why has it worsened? Because I did nay get it fixed & the new strings I bought are freakishly tensed & hard. I can't even play a full song without stopping a moment to mourn over the devastating truth that Vypress is a wreck. Plus, to rest the finger pads. Pins & needles man!Anyway, I am in desperate need of a fix. Not like as in

Come One, Come All

2009-02-26T20:03:00.005+08:00

To do, or not to do? That is not the question.The question is,Who's in?

Conflicted

2009-02-25T20:26:00.011+08:00

Conflict: When there are two opposing pictures in your quality world at the same time.The more you move in the direction of one, the more you frustrate the other.What to do?"If it's at all possible, when you don't know what to do, do nothing in either direction."What makes a conflict so severe is that there is no immediate solution. If you manage to do the above, it may not solve the conflict but

ChatterBox

2009-02-21T16:55:00.006+08:00

Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!That is all I feel and that is all I shall feel as long as I remember this week of holiday. This shall be my first ever attempt to produce a post barely out of word vomit. Or as pen to paper and fingertip to keyboard...I lost my train of thoughts. Be it as it may, I shall try my best to keep my topic around the activities of my previous week. Disgusting, as I

N.E.V.E.S

2009-02-19T01:43:00.013+08:00

I was tagged by my aunt to do this. Here you go Enda.I. se7en facts you may not know about me when I was 7 years old:I can't remember much of what happened to me at this age.1. started a thieving habit2. I wore a baju kurung for my birthday party3. set foot on English soil & stayed for 3 1/2 years4. lost a lot of memory during the flight to England5. became enemies with the first Malay girl I met

23 Enigma

2009-02-16T23:52:00.005+08:00

Oh crap, I just had an epiphany. I'm sat here thinking about how old [23yrs] I'm turning into in a few hours & it occurred to me that I'll actually be living my 24th year of life after that hour, which made a whole lot of difference. I feel older. Okay, I'm put off by that fact.Ever since I turned 20 I began hating birthdays. It means nothing to me unless I achieved something profound for that

Something Stupid...by far

2009-02-15T03:25:00.006+08:00

A quarrel took place by mistake, an unfortunate event indeed. Somehow I feel it was my fault. It happened between my friend & an acquaintance. I instinctively sided the acquaintance and now I don't know where I stand in my friendship with the other. Dolefully, I don't know how to make things right between them. Between us. I can bearly wrap my head around what actually happened that day.I think

Very Much Un-Ace-Like

2009-02-06T21:49:00.005+08:00

Going home no longer excites me.wtf? I know.I don't know what's really going on. It just seems I'm better off staying alone at Plaza Rah [my apartment/college]. Better off for my emotions & peace of mind. Everytime I come home feeling happier than ever, something or somebody just has to come up and piss me off. I don't literally blow up like I usually do years back but I'm trying to keep all that

Tag! I'm it!

2009-02-02T18:20:00.008+08:00

I have been victimized! I never knew this 'game' existed amongst bloggers. It's called tagging.The rules are: Use a search engine to search the answers to the questions. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 6 other people.I have been officially tagged by Wan, and so here are my answers.1. I am a... rockhead2. I want to go here

Truth-Blind

2009-02-01T09:09:00.009+08:00

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value" It's not that success isn't a good thing, it is. But it isn't a good word. Success comes in a package of many kinds but unfortunately many souls on this Earth tends to see success as living luxuriously glorified by status symbols. I'm not saying that is wrong either but money can be a route to all evil - don't take it

HandShake

2009-01-27T15:12:00.005+08:00

For the past few days, I've been in and out of my blog thinking of what to write next. After the previous post, I thought it'd only be fair for me to lay low for a while. Fair for both the writer & the readers [whoever you are], since we all have things to be done. But then again, one thing keeps bugging me and I can't seem to get it off my mind.A few weeks ago I met a few ladies, strangers you

The Edd Identity & Ultimatum

2009-01-19T18:30:00.004+08:00

Dear Brook [who I recently retrieved],Last year I nearly lost my sanity from the shock of realizing how blind I was towards the possibilities of me leading my OWN life. Chances had been flashing themselves tirelessly but I shunned them down because I felt so sure that the path I was on was the best path. As I saw it then, it was grand, it would lead me to a luxurious life for eternity, and it

30 by Demetri Martin

2009-01-17T11:28:00.004+08:00

30 minutes is 1/2 of an hour or 1/48 of a day or 1/shitload of all existence 30 seconds on a treadmill feels longer than 30 hours in a really comfortable mill 30 milliseconds from now is already over30 decades ago there was way more bad breath 30 aunts at a picnic is better than 30 ants

[sighs loudly]

2009-01-12T17:53:00.008+08:00

Dear Brook [who I've lost temporarily],I feel down today.Damn that emo song, really got to me. Don't know who it was though, heard it of a friend's blog [yes naqqib,it's you]. Plus, this splitting headache has somehow displaced my center of gravity in all aspects of Edd-ness.How crappy today twas...My screenplay was presented and was likened by some few but because time is of the essence they

Productive Week!

2009-01-11T14:26:00.004+08:00

Hey Brook,It's been a while since I dropped by to let things out on you. I've been really caught up dead busy with all my Uni crap. I'm not gonna talk much about that as you know it only constitute 5% of my life. I know, I know, I'm an ungrateful piece of nothingness. Well hey, let's just say I'm in that teenage era of adulthood. I have yet to see it's effects & goodness to my personal bubble.

The Aftermath

2008-12-31T19:27:00.003+08:00

My family & I recently went to Bukit Antarabangsa to visit my uncle's family who lives near there. Fortunately his residence is in the safe zone.The road that is now covered with all the red earth used to be the only way in to reach his place. So the army layed down a well constructed detour around the neighbourhood.Amazingly there's also an area where people could stop by to check out the view.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2008-12-29T22:01:00.011+08:00

The awful Monday as a holiday turned out to be quite okay.Me & my family went to the hot springs in Perak. Oooohh! It was in a Felda Residence. The place is called Taman Rekreasi Air Panas (TRAP) Sungai Klah at Sungkai. Entrance is RM10 per head. There's a discount for the old folks, RM7 only. I don't know if there's student price or not.The first time I went there was a few years back, I can't

Twas The Holi A Fortnight's Passed

2008-12-28T12:19:00.009+08:00

What the heck indeed. Just take this as a continuation of the 'Zombie Week' post & be warned that it's quite long. Let us begin! We got onto the road on Friday morning, the day I wrote 'Zombie Week'. Our destination? Cherating. We registered into Suria Resort and headed for the beach. Suria ResortRegistration was slow, and they gave us the wrong room number & also the wrong key. We finally

A MegaHoli

2008-12-16T17:08:00.003+08:00

I loved the fact that my previous 2 week holiday was first part lousy and second part superb. The lousy part was of course the Zombie week which I already posted about on my last posted post. The second part was a true holiday that I have yet to write about. I was already excited to tell everyone about it since the first 2 days I was on it. But the net connection said nay and so I had to save the

Zombie Week!

2008-12-05T02:51:00.009+08:00

That pretty much sums up my holiday week so far. I had a lot of plans prior this magnificent period of chance but typically, they all end up in the pending list which by the looks of it, won't be accomplished. The 'before' list:1. Practice metal vocals & growls2. Muscle toning3. Read up on Gen Meds & OS4. Wire bending5. Work on shirt design ideas6. Develop new song idea7. Outting with cousins at

Exams?! PishPosh!

2008-11-23T22:44:00.008+08:00

I hate exams, but don't we all? Though I hate it because it brings down the atmosphere, I don't mind these regular assessments time to time. The right way to get through it is to always be prepared. I had a 1 1/2 month relapse of 'party on' nights instead of reading so it proved the present burden. I sound like a damn nerd for someone who hates this crap so much it nearly destroyed me.My current

A Day Full of Surprises!

2008-11-18T19:09:00.009+08:00

I don't know if I should laugh or sob or drop-kick a stranger and continue beating him until he begs me to stop. Yes, today made me say a lot of those bad words, the "what the....?!" kinds and also me having angry dialogues with myself. "Why on earth?" I hear you not say out loud. Let's get started!1. The Mal-informed QuizWhat the frig man, nobody friggin told me it was re-scheduled today. My jaw

The Man-ly Presence

2008-11-10T18:38:00.004+08:00

I know it's kinda too early for a new entry since I should be shoving my face into a book somewhere [exams in 2 weeks...unlike most others], but I just have to get something off my chest.I had a hard time sleeping last night, not because I just read tonnes of ghost stories prior hitting the covers, and not because I was contemplating whether I should call off the morning's patient or not, but

New POST!

2008-11-09T23:14:00.008+08:00

For today, I made a mistake of waking up to FND Films [A Youtube channel by Aaron Fronk & Vinny Dego]. It made me feel like being angry and high all day. Banzai & The Dude...what a mix. My roomie is lucky for not being here since Thursday's pm. Oh, did I mention?! I had a college sleepover for this weekend. And probably for the next...and the other...until exam week's up and done!It's been a

Quest for personalities....

2008-11-05T21:08:00.009+08:00

Other than being a Youtube freak, I'm also addicted to analyzing characters or personalities in people. Movies are awesome for this. Some are good ones, others just don't fit. Though I have my own personalities that I have developed along the years of living on in this society. The personalities that lies within. Some has extinct, others continue to be part of me. I'll go in sequence of who came

To be more than A person...

2008-10-21T01:52:00.006+08:00

I guess I can assume that everybody generally knows what the condition 'multiple personality' means. But how would it feel to actually experience this mental 'disease'? Can you even tell if you actually are? And can you actually tell each personality from another? Could the 'change' be a temporary alternate ego sort of thing or a permanent 'turn a leaf' kind of thing? Can you even tell?When you

Laguku bes?!!

2008-10-15T19:20:00.006+08:00

Brook! During the numerous blackouts today I opened the door to my room to let the air currents flow. During so, I just played carelessly on my guitar thinking that the other roomies wouldn't even be bothered to study since the light is being rather bitchy. I was working on my latest song [#3: Depth of Illusion(unconfirmed title)] which still needs work. I played up to the part where I had to

Songs So Deep, Turns Me On

2008-10-14T20:36:00.008+08:00

After much consideration, I decided to post this anyway since I'm happy creating new songs. The numbers are according to sequence in time.1. This I Promise You by N*Sync- listening to this makes me cringe nowdays, aaaahhh the 90s2. The Scientist by Coldplay- still loving it3. Suralaya Dalam D Major by Amy Search- haven't heard it for a while. can't even find a link for it on youtube4. Swallowed

eff-off PMS !!

2008-10-12T01:56:00.007+08:00

Oh Brook how I despise this part of being a female. Not that I'm a fan of the other features but I'm not complaining...yet [keeping pregnancy in mind..DAMN]. While this won't be the major topic here, I'll just mention what it has done to me. Let's just say I'm seeing my old self again...nuff sed. If this goes on any longer I think I should eventually see someone about it before dejavu really

NO MORE BOOKS!! WANT TO RAYA!!

2008-09-27T07:18:00.009+08:00

Seriously Brook, I can't gather my mind to study anymore. With 3 more days to go, who can? And why in the hell are there still classes on Raya's eve?!! Not to mention clinics! OK..no more of my uni crap, because of it, it'll be my first time celebrating 1st day of Raya in Bangi and not in Kelantan with all the other families and not to mention my lovely cousins. And because of that we'll be

So it begins...

2008-09-23T00:22:00.007+08:00

A chapter full of hate and denial...hurt by fantasmicaLast week, the turmoil that complicated my last year's life made a comeback. I thought it was the monthly feme-zilla syndrome but today I felt it again. In the morning's class as she lectured away, I felt that deep tug in my gut and I heard myself saying, "I don't want to be like her, I don't want to be like them all". I felt so disgusted I

No photos?!

2008-09-21T06:24:00.002+08:00

Oh darn, BROOK! I unbelievably forgot to take a single photo of today's major event. My big family gathered at our house today for 'breakfast'. I guess we were having too much of a good time that the minor importance of photos to validate a moment in time simply slipped our minds. Dammit!x3.I wasn't really hanging out with the rest much anyways, I was giving someone a personal lesson in life. A

Keep on wishing...

2008-09-14T23:32:00.011+08:00

Dear BROOK,I'm in my one week holiday now but as I have feared, I have been struck by gastritis a few times now. Very mild but the fear of self defect is there. I know in the past I have deliberately inflicted pain and injury onto this borrowed, fleshy vessel but gastritis is not the cool type of pain dudes...you can't move and you feel like it's sucking you in. A whole new center of gravity...a

SinS Galore !!

2008-09-05T14:02:00.006+08:00

Okay, I can no longer deny the fact that I'm one of the devilish beings but not in the anger factor I mentioned in my previous Ramadhan post.I don't know why but the same thing happened during last year's Ramadhan too. I get myself deep in metal, so very deep. It was last year that I discovered the compelling amount of metal's sub-genres and various bands from them. Thanks a lot Wikipedia! This

Dear Diabolic Dean...

2008-08-30T01:16:00.013+08:00

Brook!I know I promised not to mention any stories from my side of life as a student in the dent fac but today's incident is kind of necessary. It's nothing big but I'll be honest in stating my opinions of it so, colleagues beware!the face says it allAs usual on Friday mornings, lectures on Oral Surgery. Today was the dean's turn [he's not really diabolic, I just liked the way it sounded] and he

Ramadhan is peeping in !!

2008-08-28T19:25:00.008+08:00

Yay, Brook! It's gonna be the holy month of Ramadhan in a few days! I can't wait, I love Ramadhan and I think everybody, I mean every Muslim should [No, that wasn't a commanding sentence, no more commanding].WHY? Here we go...1. It's a period of realignment.As Islam is in every aspect of our life, fasting can be very beneficial without you realizing it's effects until you're reading it off flyers

Falling Slowly...

2008-08-25T01:53:00.004+08:00

The title is subjective to various perspectives. To me it simply means 'floating', either in or out of love, self-configuration, or norm. I'm just buying time until my clock strikes 2am. I decided to hit the bed at 2am and so it shall be. I came up with a few more theories and revelations of my psychological growth. Unfortunately, a few things were of higher priority than jotting them down

Olympics 2008...the fight for humanity

2008-08-09T22:13:00.004+08:00

What a great show the Chinese put on yesterday for the opening ceremony. The lights were amazing, the scroll was awesome. I just pity the Chinese girls and guys being the borders, they had to do that clapping cheering thingy for hours! But they did it anyhow, for the country they love.See, that's something I lack. Nationalism was never my thing, it's not that I don't love this country. I'm

Metallic as in everything...

2008-08-05T18:24:00.003+08:00

What a hell of a long time since I've written...again. If you've been reading some of the previous posts you would know that I'm back to my ancient old routine by now...classes and clinics and shyte. But whatever...my posts are clean out of em'. I've been too caught up with classes, house chores [still enjoying em' since I'm still at home], and Nazrin Firdaus [the new hot stuff].A few things I'm

My New No.1 Villain !! ~sorry Darth Maul

2008-07-17T20:49:00.008+08:00

Prince NuadaAfter watching Hellboy 2: The Golden Army yesterday, I just can't stop thinking about the villain in it. He's an ultimate fighter, ambitious, vicious, smooth and of course, Brit accented. He is Prince Nuada, son of the Elf King. He fights for his right as an elf to live freely in his world, the forests, even if it means killing off mankind [mostly city folks] who cares not for the

Making The Most

2008-07-09T22:46:00.003+08:00

Haha Brook, 3 days in a row I've managed to be unbelievably responsible...seriously getting caught up at every minute of every hour. All is taking place smoothly as if it was meant to happen, as if I'm on my definite track to glory. I think the birth of my new nephew, Nazrin Firdaus has something to do with this.I'm finally an aunt and with my mom busy caring for her 1st grandchild and his mom, I

6 days to go...

2008-07-07T06:53:00.011+08:00

Dear Brook, What a mistake to be doing this countdown until D-day. But nevermind, if it's the only thing that'll get me writing again then so be it. Since I already wrote an entry last night and I woke astonishingly early this morning -in shock of the tremendous amount and degree of responsibilities laying ahead of me, be it in family and studies-, this one is gonna sweat me out.I know!I'v been

Jitters of the remaining week...

2008-07-06T20:26:00.006+08:00

Woaw it's been a while...a long 3 weeks while. I haven't been as busy but instead I've been watching a lot of Discovery and NatGeo's programs. Not so much going on online anymore. Finished all the movies and music downloads so the laptop stays lifeless throughout most of the days, only peeking in every now and then to chat with the abroad.I'm running thin on thoughts so I haven't been writing as